365/365 - Passions
One year (and a couple months) ago I had a lot of pent up creative energy that desperately needed an outlet. I decided to try a 365 photo project and through that, I found one.
It has been an incredible journey, one fraught with anxiety, stress, days without sleep, and all the problems that a forgetful mind could muster. This project took a lot from me, took a lot of me. I haven’t read a book in a year, I haven’t watched films like I used to, I haven’t hardly had time to think. It took my blood, it took my sweat, and it took my tears. But, what this project gave me is invaluable, what I found within myself is something that I will never let go of, will never forget, and along with the body of work I now have, that is a gift that makes the entire year worth it. It has brought me new friends, bettered my relationships with old ones, and has created new opportunities for my life that I would never have had otherwise.
This final photo was an amazing moment in my life. I wanted to do it entirely on my own, the same way I started. I was anxious the entire day about it, to the point that I couldn’t even think straight. I was up until 4am the previous night working on the prop, and I felt rushed during the day to ready everything. But while driving out to my field, I felt a tremendous calm come over me. The world slowed down for me and gave me a moment in time that was absolutely right. It was perfect. The air was warm and the sun was diffused by a perfect haze of clouds while it gently settled over the rolling hills. I arrived with enough time to set up the shot and think slow.
Once I had everything I needed I just stood there and felt everything leave: the anxiety, the stress, the entirely of the project lifting off my shoulders, and I breathed a deeply needed sigh of relief. I stood motionless in the field for half an hour as the sun set, and felt as if I was at the center of the wild eddying universe. The long brutal winter had come to a close in stride with my project. I could smell it in the light breeze that ushered out the cold air. The world was new and right and opening itself up wide for me. I felt new ideas come rushing in. I felt warm in my chest. I felt like a new person.
I want to thank all of my friends that helped me get through this project. I am so humbled by your friendships and willingness to give me your time. I couldn’t have done it without you. I want to thank my amazing wife who had to deal with the insanity of this project more than anyone else. Without her, my life and home would be in shambles. And lastly, I want to thank all of you. I never would have completed this project if it weren’t for you encouraging me to give everything I had to this thing. And so, if nothing else, I can say that I gave every damn thing I had to this madness, and I’ll never be the same. Thank you all so much! I can’t wait to continue to make art for you!